I think the hardest part is that my support system has changed a lot over the past 6 months. I was happy and felt safe in the support that I had, but that's gone, and I'm having to figure out my new support system. Right now, I rely a lot on my husband. He is so wonderful and takes such good care of me. It helps that he's been through this with me before, and knows the things that are important, and how to help me through this. Its a lot on his shoulders, and I wish I could carry more of the burdan myself, but I'm grateful for him. I'm also grateful for the spiritual help I have too.
Anyways, I realized today that in this PPD fog I'm in, I haven't really done any fun photoshoots with SweetPea. I've been photographing a lot, just candids with my little point-and-shoot - which is great, but I usually love setting up photoshoots and playing with my DSLR. With this PPD, I just don't want to even try. So today, I forced myself to try a photoshoot. SweetPea is 2 1/2 months old already, and wasn't in a very cooperative mood (then again, what baby ever is?!), but I managed to get this:
I know I'm just like all parents who think their baby is the cutest ever, but oh my gosh, those cheeks kill me! They remind me (in a very endearing way) of Elder Holland or a bulldog.
See the resemblance? So stinkin' cute.
Anyways, I am happy with my life. I just have to get through the PPD, then I can really enjoy it without just trying to put on a happy face. I have so much to be happy for, I just need to get my emotions to remember that!