Maturity Levels

I worry sometimes as a young mom, that I am too immature for my role as a SAHM. I have friends who own a home, paint their walls awsome colors, decorate with sophistication, use their spell check button. Often, the moms in my stage of life are older than I am ... and seem so much more mature. I even have a friend who is younger than I am, but seems just so much more "grown up" than I am.

So, I've felt insecure about my maturity for a while. That is until last night. Every couple of weeks, my 21 year old brother comes for Sunday dinner - with a couple roomates tagging along for a home cooked meal. They live in a run-down bachelor-pad for the local college, and none of them really cook. So he brought a "newbie" over last night ... a roomie we hadn't met before. This roomie was definately one of my brother's friends, kinda nice in a dorky, geeky little brother way. But a little less rowdy and annoying than some of the roomies we've fed.

So we are all talking, and this kid asks how old I am. I told him I was 26. Uh, so was he. Turns out, he's 10 days older than me. :) AND WAY LESS MATURE :) He kept telling me how weird it was that we were the same age, but in such different stages. He was jealous of my "settled" lifestyle, and having a family, and the american life - complete with a cat and dog. His stage? Go to school, come home and play computer games, have some NCMO experiences (for those, like me, who missed that part of college:
Non-Commital Make-Out), and then wonder when "real life" will start.

It's interesting how his perspective made me realise that I'm more mature than I give myself credit for most the time! I don't feel like "a grown-up", but I feel so happy with my life - my DH, who is a really good guy, our beautiful children, a wonderful neighborhood, and the fact that I am able to be a SAHM. I love my motherhood, and today, I actually feel mature enough to be "the mom".

Yes, I still say dumb things without thinking, stink at budgeting, feel trapped in my house at times, and HATE laundry, and most housework. But at least I'm not the least mature 26 year old out there :) Yep, there is balance in the universe again.


Lisa M. said...

I loved this entry.

I think you described how we mother's feel just about half the time.

I'm glad you got your mo-mo back. It's a good thing.

I love the new look, and description. I am glad that you won't trade nap time for chocolate.. *grin* That is a good thing.

miranda said...

I feel the same way! Somehow, i feel like I never left being 16 years old, but then in so many other ways, I look at younger people and see how different life is now and feel more like I'm having to be more mature than I should be at this age

Sunny said...

Miranda, we've both grown up so much since high school. Remember our notebook, lol? I totally understand feeling like I have so many more responsabilities than a 26 year old should. But with life's lessons came my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. It just seems like yesterday that we were in high school, and yet it seems a whole different life away.

Mommy Brain said...

Oh my goodness I know exactly what you're talking about. I was 25 when my girls were born (well, I did turn 26 the very next day) and I always feel so much younger than the other moms I know.

Of course, part of this is because I know so many twin moms and twins are more common the older you get.

Lei said...

Hey Sunny... come check out "Woman to WOman" goign on at my palce. I think particiapting in this will make you feel like you have something to offer to other women, regardless of how young you are!

Lei said...

oh the typos... sorry :S

amyjane said...

Hi, just stumbled onto your blog and had to comment. Your entry is the exact opposite of the thought that runs through my head all too often. I was 25 when I got married and almost 27 when my son was born. Now I'm pushing 28, and often feel a little out of place in the other direction. Most of the mommies with kids my son's age are 21, and most of the mommies who are actually my age are the PTA president at their kid's school already! Needless to say, I ahve friends from both categories but no one who's life looks like mine.
Even though I'm totally happy with how my life has gone, and think everyone's life has it's own pattern and time frame, it is hard when you don't feel like you "fit." Thanks for the thoughts.

Jen said...

It's odd how milestones mark our age as women more so than our actual age. You can be a new mom at 17 or at 47 these days. My closest friends are a good 20 years older than me.

I do think there is a difference between maturity & experience. Just because you havent' had an experience yet doesn't mean you are immature.