I've written about my darkest hour of PPD before. I'm just grateful today for all I have, for my beautiful family, loving friends, and for my life. I know God loves me and watches over me, even when I am convinced I am alone. I am grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father.
DH and I drove by the hospital ER a couple days ago. We hadn't been in that parking lot since "that night". I remembered bits and pieces of those days surrounding that time, but so much is dark in my mind. I do remember DH speeding around a slow driver, and watching a fish in the ER room tank. I remember the charchol (impossible to forget - took me 18 months to touch cookies'n'cream ice cream again). I remember a wheelchair taking me to the psych ward. My memory of the ER is so vague ... like a dream or a movie that I saw long ago, with a sad girl playing my part. But that girl isn't me. She is still part of me - a part I will never let myself forget, but I have found the sunshine of life. The flowers around me, my sweet snuggly animals, and my beautiful, tenderhearted children and husband are all testimonies of God's love for me.
Speaking of things that bring me joy, may I introduce my newest family member, Bella. She is a lionhead rabbit, whose parents are gorgeous, soft, super fluffy and have taken first place a few times in shows. Believe it or not, she is still a bald-y compared to her parents and older siblings!