December arrived, cold and gloomy. The weather seemed to mirror the students feelings, as they prepared for the dreaded finals. J and I spent most of our free time together, studying, relaxing, snuggling, and kissing. My roommates had accepted J as a permanent fixture sitting on our couch, but still rolled their eyes at us as often as they could. Some afternoons, J would pick me up, and we'd drive around rural idaho, talking for hours. There seemed no end to the topics we could talk about. We'd tell each other about our classes, what we were learning. We'd talk about old crushes and past relationships. We'd talk about what we each wanted in the future. We talked endlessly.
The week of finals, I studied every waking minute. I was determined to do well, especially in my child development final, which would be my last final of the semester. I was flying home to California that next weekend, and J would drive home to Utah. J was going to fly to California after Christmas to spend New Years with my family at the cabin in Lake Tahoe. My parents were curious about this boy that was coming to visit me, but I said very little.
The night before my last final, I was talking to my roomate, F. I was pacing the room, and agonizing about if or when J would propose. F giggled, and asked “What will you say?” I stopped, and stared at her. What would I tell J if he proposed? I began to panic – God hadn't told me what to do yet! I had been praying every day, but had I gotten an answer? That evening, I kneeled next to my bed, and begged Heavenly Father to tell me what to do. I prayed, telling about J, and how I felt, and that I thought he might ask me to marry him. Suddenly, a voice popped into my head. “What do you feel?” I thought. Peace. I felt peace. But that wasn't a real answer, was it? “Peace is your answer.” I sat there, deep in thought. Being with J brought me peace. Without him, I felt anxious and worried, but with him, I felt safe and peaceful. God had been answering my prayers all along, I had been expecting a dramatic revelation, but my answer was the peace and calm I felt about J. I was going to marry this man! Now I just had to wait for him to ask me …